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Alexandra Petri's US History: Important American Documents (I Made Up)

Alexandra Petri's US History: Important American Documents (I Made Up)

Penned By Alexandra Petri
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49,439 Global Ratings
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Alexandra Petri's US History: Important American Documents (I Made Up)

Alexandra Petri's US History: Important American Documents (I Made Up)

Penned By Alexandra Petri
4.85 49,439 Ratings
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Editor's Note:
A witty, absurdist satire of the last 500 years, Alexandra Petri’s US History is the fake textbook you never knew you needed! As a columnist for the Washington Post , Alexandra Petri has watched in real time as those who didn’t learn from history have been forced to repeat it. And repeat it. And repeat it. If we repeat history one more time, we’re going to fail! Maybe it’s time for a new textbook. Alexandra Petri’s US History contains a lost (invented!) history of America. (A history for people disappointed that the only president whose weird sex letters we have is Warren G. Harding.) Petri’s "historical fan fiction" draws on real events and completely absurd fabrications to create a laugh-out-loud, irreverent takedown of our nation’s complicated past. On Petri’s deranged timeline, John and Abigail Adams try sexting, the March sisters from Little Women are sixty feet tall, and Susan Sontag goes to summer camp. Nearly eighty short, hilarious pieces span centuries of American history and culture. Ayn Rand rewrites The Little Engine That Could . Nikola Tesla’s friends stage an intervention when he falls in love with a pigeon. The characters from Sesame Street invade Normandy. And Mark Twain―who famously said reports of his death had been greatly exaggerated―offers a detailed account of his undeath, in which he becomes a zombie. This side-splitting work of historical humor shows why Alexandra Petri has been hailed as a "genius,"* a "national treasure,"† and "one of the funniest writers alive"‡. *Olivia Nuzzi, Katha Pollitt†Julia Ioffe, Katy Tur, John Scalzi, Chuck Wendig, Jamil Smith, and Susan Hennessey‡Randall Munroe 3 illustrations

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Length 326 Pages
Released April 11, 2023
Identifier (ISBN) 61089466
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Alexandra Petri
The Mind Behind the Work
Alexandra Petri

After spending years working in the corporate world, Alexandra Petri finally decided to pursue a lifelong passion for writing. They currently reside in a quiet suburb where they spend most of their time outlining new stories, reading extensively, and occasionally attempting to bake.

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"Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre."
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"Masterpiece from start to finish. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre."
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"A profoundly satisfying read. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. A true literary gem."
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"I thoroughly enjoyed the elegance of it. Beautiful writing, though I craved slightly more depth in the lore. Still, undeniably engaging. A wonderful companion for a quiet weekend."
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"A profoundly satisfying read. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. I am now a lifelong fan of this author."
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"Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. An effortless 5 stars."
Sharon Martin
Sharon Martin October 17, 2024
"A profoundly satisfying read. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. A true literary gem."
Dorothy Williams
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"Excellent, though slightly flawed. The middle had a deliberate pace, but the climax was phenomenal. Quite impressive overall."
Carol Roberts
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"Masterpiece from start to finish. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. I am now a lifelong fan of this author."
Kevin Torres
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"Took a moment to build, but the payoff was spectacular. Beautiful writing, though I craved slightly more depth in the lore. Still, undeniably engaging. A very distinguished novel."
Cynthia  Davis
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"An acceptable diversion. Certain acts were fascinating, while others felt like a slight endeavor to complete. A fair 3 stars."
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"A highly sophisticated read. The middle had a deliberate pace, but the climax was phenomenal. Quite impressive overall."
Jennifer Mitchell
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"A highly sophisticated read. Beautiful writing, though I craved slightly more depth in the lore. Still, undeniably engaging. I would highly recommend this to discerning readers."
Sarah Torres
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"An acceptable diversion. It possessed moments of brilliance, but the narrative felt slightly disjointed ultimately. Perfectly average."
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"Such a rich narrative. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece."
Kevin Harris
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"I thoroughly enjoyed the elegance of it. The middle had a deliberate pace, but the climax was phenomenal. Quite impressive overall."
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"Masterpiece from start to finish. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. A true literary gem."
Brian Walker
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"Such a rich narrative. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. Worth every moment spent reading."
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"Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. A true literary gem."
Donna Martin
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"A profoundly satisfying read. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. A true literary gem."
James Gonzalez
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"A profoundly satisfying read. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. An effortless 5 stars."
Melissa Scott
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"A very strong entry. The protagonist was compelling, though some subplots felt slightly overshadowed. A very distinguished novel."
Ryan Williams
Ryan Williams November 04, 2024
"An acceptable diversion. It verged on repetitive in the second act. A more concise edit would have served it well. Suitable if your reading queue is empty."
Andrew Cruz
Andrew Cruz February 04, 2024
"Excellent, though slightly flawed. Beautiful writing, though I craved slightly more depth in the lore. Still, undeniably engaging. A wonderful companion for a quiet weekend."
William Wilson
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"I was completely blown away. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece."
Kevin Torres
Kevin Torres February 25, 2024
"Exceeded all my expectations. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. An effortless 5 stars."
Donald Nguyen
Donald Nguyen March 08, 2024
"Absolutely brilliant. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. A true literary gem."
Edward Adams
Edward Adams August 18, 2025
"Exceeded all my expectations. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. I am now a lifelong fan of this author."
Kimberly Diaz
Kimberly Diaz February 11, 2024
"Exceeded all my expectations. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. Worth every moment spent reading."
Michelle Reyes
Michelle Reyes February 29, 2024
"Took a moment to build, but the payoff was spectacular. Beautiful writing, though I craved slightly more depth in the lore. Still, undeniably engaging. A very distinguished novel."
Steven Diaz
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"Absolutely brilliant. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. I am now a lifelong fan of this author."
Susan Wilson
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"Absolutely brilliant. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre."
Kimberly Flores
Kimberly Flores October 14, 2024
"Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. I am now a lifelong fan of this author."
Matthew Martinez
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"I thoroughly enjoyed the elegance of it. A brilliant concept executed with flair. Just a few pacing choices I would change. I would highly recommend this to discerning readers."
Andrew Cruz
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"A decent, if standard, experience. The tempo was somewhat languid, and I found my mind wandering. Not poor, simply average. Unlikely to reread, but a reasonable expenditure of time."
Sarah Baker
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"Exceeded all my expectations. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. Worth every moment spent reading."
James Nguyen
James Nguyen May 15, 2024
"Took a moment to build, but the payoff was spectacular. A brilliant concept executed with flair. Just a few pacing choices I would change. Quite impressive overall."
Paul Martinez
Paul Martinez February 18, 2024
"I was completely blown away. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. An effortless 5 stars."
Amanda Collins
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"I was completely blown away. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. A true literary gem."
Jessica Roberts
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"A profoundly satisfying read. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. Worth every moment spent reading."
Jennifer Mitchell
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"Took a moment to build, but the payoff was spectacular. Beautiful writing, though I craved slightly more depth in the lore. Still, undeniably engaging. A wonderful companion for a quiet weekend."
Ashley Garcia
Ashley Garcia September 13, 2024
"Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece."
Charles Garcia
Charles Garcia July 15, 2025
"Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece."
Eric Brown
Eric Brown February 23, 2024
"A profoundly satisfying read. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece."
Brian Taylor
Brian Taylor January 07, 2024
"A highly sophisticated read. A brilliant concept executed with flair. Just a few pacing choices I would change. A very distinguished novel."
Joshua Carter
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"Excellent, though slightly flawed. A brilliant concept executed with flair. Just a few pacing choices I would change. A very distinguished novel."
Dorothy Williams
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"A profoundly satisfying read. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. An effortless 5 stars."
Karen Harris
Karen Harris May 26, 2024
"A highly sophisticated read. It held my rapt attention, even when certain twists were telegraphed. A solid 4 stars from me."
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"Excellent, though slightly flawed. It held my rapt attention, even when certain twists were telegraphed. A very distinguished novel."
Christopher Nguyen
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"Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece."
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"Took a moment to build, but the payoff was spectacular. Beautiful writing, though I craved slightly more depth in the lore. Still, undeniably engaging. A very distinguished novel."
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