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And Then They Stopped Talking to Me: Making Sense of Middle School

Penned By Judith Warner
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4.85
20,451 Global Ratings
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And Then They Stopped Talking to Me: Making Sense of Middle School

Penned By Judith Warner
4.85 20,451 Ratings
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Editor's Note:
Through the stories of kids and parents in the middle-school trenches, a New York Times bestselling author reveals why these years are so painful, how parents unwittingly make them worse, and what we all need to do to grow up.The French have a name for the uniquely hellish years between elementary school and high school: "l'age ingrat" or "The Ugly Age." Characterized by a perfect storm of developmental changes--physical, psychological, and social--the middle-school years are a time of great distress for parents and children alike, marked by hurt, isolation, exclusion, competition, anxiety, and often outright cruelty. Some of this is inevitable; there are intrinsic challenges to early adolescence. But these years are harder than they need to be, and Judith Warner believes adults are complicit.With piercing insight and compassion, Warner walks us through a new understanding of the role that middle school plays in all our lives. She argues that today's helicopter parents are overly concerned with status and achievement--in some ways a residual effect of their own middle-school experiences--and that this is worsening the self-consciousness, self-absorption, and social "sorting" so typical of early adolescence.Tracing a century of research on middle childhood and bringing together the voices of social scientists, psychologists, educators, and parents, Warner shows how adults can be moral role models for children, making them more empathetic, caring, and resilient. She encourages us to start treating middle-schoolers as the complex people they are, holding them to high standards of kindness, and helping them see one another as more than "jocks and mean girls, nerds and sluts."Part cultural critique and part call to action, this essential book unpacks one of life's most formative periods and shows how we can help our children not only survive it, but thrive.

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Released May 5, 2020
Identifier (ISBN) 49881566
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Judith Warner
The Mind Behind the Work
Judith Warner

After spending years working in the corporate world, Judith Warner finally decided to pursue a lifelong passion for writing. They currently reside in a quiet suburb where they spend most of their time outlining new stories, reading extensively, and occasionally attempting to bake.

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Critical Reception & Reviews

4.85
20,451 ratings
5 star
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4 star
12%
3 star
3%
2 star
1%
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Cynthia Thomas
Cynthia Thomas December 02, 2025
"Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece."
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"Exceeded all my expectations. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre."
Sponsored Placement
Ashley Thomas
Ashley Thomas April 22, 2024
"Absolutely brilliant. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. A true literary gem."
Donald  Davis
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Ryan Hall
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"A decent, if standard, experience. The tempo was somewhat languid, and I found my mind wandering. Not poor, simply average. A fair 3 stars."
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Cynthia Baker May 11, 2025
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John Rodriguez
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"Exceeded all my expectations. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre."
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"Such a rich narrative. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. An effortless 5 stars."
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"Such a rich narrative. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece."
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"A profoundly satisfying read. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. I am now a lifelong fan of this author."
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"Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece."
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"Exceeded all my expectations. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. I am now a lifelong fan of this author."
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"Absolutely brilliant. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. I am now a lifelong fan of this author."
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"A profoundly satisfying read. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. Worth every moment spent reading."
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"Such a rich narrative. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre."
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"Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. I am now a lifelong fan of this author."
Deborah Adams
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"A very strong entry. The protagonist was compelling, though some subplots felt slightly overshadowed. A very distinguished novel."
Sarah Lopez
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"Excellent, though slightly flawed. It held my rapt attention, even when certain twists were telegraphed. I would highly recommend this to discerning readers."
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"Absolutely brilliant. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. An effortless 5 stars."
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"A very strong entry. Beautiful writing, though I craved slightly more depth in the lore. Still, undeniably engaging. A very distinguished novel."
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"Took a moment to build, but the payoff was spectacular. Beautiful writing, though I craved slightly more depth in the lore. Still, undeniably engaging. Quite impressive overall."
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"Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece."
Michelle Allen
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"Exceeded all my expectations. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. An effortless 5 stars."
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"Took a moment to build, but the payoff was spectacular. It held my rapt attention, even when certain twists were telegraphed. A wonderful companion for a quiet weekend."
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"I find myself somewhat conflicted. It possessed moments of brilliance, but the narrative felt slightly disjointed ultimately. Unlikely to reread, but a reasonable expenditure of time."
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"A profoundly satisfying read. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. I am now a lifelong fan of this author."
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"Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. Worth every moment spent reading."
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"Such a rich narrative. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece."
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"Such a rich narrative. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. I am now a lifelong fan of this author."
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"Exceeded all my expectations. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. A true literary gem."
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"Masterpiece from start to finish. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre."
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"I thoroughly enjoyed the elegance of it. It held my rapt attention, even when certain twists were telegraphed. I would highly recommend this to discerning readers."
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Robert Green
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"Absolutely brilliant. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre."
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"Such a rich narrative. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre."
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"Took a moment to build, but the payoff was spectacular. Beautiful writing, though I craved slightly more depth in the lore. Still, undeniably engaging. A very distinguished novel."
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William Jackson
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"Such a rich narrative. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. A true literary gem."
Donna Hall
Donna Hall May 12, 2025
"Such a rich narrative. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. Worth every moment spent reading."
Ryan Carter
Ryan Carter September 01, 2025
"I was completely blown away. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. Worth every moment spent reading."
Sandra Baker
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"Such a rich narrative. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre."
William Adams
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"I thoroughly enjoyed the elegance of it. The protagonist was compelling, though some subplots felt slightly overshadowed. I would highly recommend this to discerning readers."
Donald Martin
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Joshua Evans
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"Such a rich narrative. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. I am now a lifelong fan of this author."
Cynthia Nelson
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"A very strong entry. Beautiful writing, though I craved slightly more depth in the lore. Still, undeniably engaging. A wonderful companion for a quiet weekend."
Kimberly Allen
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"An acceptable diversion. It possessed moments of brilliance, but the narrative felt slightly disjointed ultimately. Suitable if your reading queue is empty."
James Brown
James Brown November 26, 2024
"It was adequate. The prose was competent, yet the characters lacked the depth I usually seek. Perhaps more aligned with a different audience's tastes."
David Adams
David Adams July 12, 2024
"Exceeded all my expectations. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece."
Melissa Collins
Melissa Collins May 04, 2025
"Masterpiece from start to finish. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece."
Charles Evans
Charles Evans February 07, 2024
"A highly sophisticated read. The middle had a deliberate pace, but the climax was phenomenal. A very distinguished novel."
Michelle Hill
Michelle Hill July 31, 2025
"Exceeded all my expectations. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre."
Matthew Adams
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"Excellent, though slightly flawed. It held my rapt attention, even when certain twists were telegraphed. A very distinguished novel."
Christopher Young
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"An acceptable diversion. It possessed moments of brilliance, but the narrative felt slightly disjointed ultimately. Suitable if your reading queue is empty."
Deborah Jackson
Deborah Jackson September 24, 2024
"A profoundly satisfying read. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. A true literary gem."
Kenneth Diaz
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"Exceeded all my expectations. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre."
Mark Scott
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