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How to Disagree Without Being Disagreeable: Getting Your Point Across With the Gentle Art of Verbal Self-Defense

How to Disagree Without Being Disagreeable: Getting Your Point Across with the Gentle Art of Verbal Self-Defense

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4.85
95,310 ratings · 9,117 reviews
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How to Disagree Without Being Disagreeable: Getting Your Point Across With the Gentle Art of Verbal Self-Defense

How to Disagree Without Being Disagreeable: Getting Your Point Across with the Gentle Art of Verbal Self-Defense

4.85 95,310 ratings · 9,117 reviews
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Overview: As bestselling author Suzette Haden Elgin proves, you don't have to live your life on red alert. With her Gentle Art of Verbal Self-Defense techniques, you'll be able to respond clearly to hostile comments from others--or deliver necessary negative messages of your own--without sacrificing your dignity or principles. You'll learn to: * Keep domestic disagreements from escalating * Deliver criticism to coworkers, employers, or employees * Handle aggressive, negative comments about race, politics, or religion * Provide discipline without increasing hostility * Use language that reduces tension and creates rapport in every situation

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Book details & editions

ISBN
312765
Publication date
March, 1997
Pages
N/A pages
Reading Options
PDF · EPUB · Mobi
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Suzette Haden Elgin
About the Author
Suzette Haden Elgin
16,825 Followers

Suzette Haden Elgin is a writer and avid reader based in the Pacific Northwest. Before pursuing writing full-time, they spent over a decade working in education. When not working on their next book, Suzette Haden Elgin can usually be found hiking with their dog or trying out new coffee shops in their neighborhood.

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James Garcia
James Garcia March 08, 2025
Took a moment to build, but the payoff was spectacular. The middle had a deliberate pace, but the climax was phenomenal. Quite impressive overall.
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Such a rich narrative. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
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Masterpiece from start to finish. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. Worth every moment spent reading.
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Exceeded all my expectations. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. An effortless 5 stars.
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A profoundly satisfying read. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre.
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I was completely blown away. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
Elizabeth Edwards
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I find myself somewhat conflicted. The tempo was somewhat languid, and I found my mind wandering. Not poor, simply average. Perhaps more aligned with a different audience's tastes.
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Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. A true literary gem.
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A profoundly satisfying read. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. An effortless 5 stars.
Steven Allen
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Exceeded all my expectations. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
James Wright
James Wright October 30, 2024
I was completely blown away. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
Daniel Perez
Daniel Perez January 20, 2025
I was completely blown away. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
Gary Lee
Gary Lee July 20, 2024
Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
Michelle Edwards
Michelle Edwards October 17, 2025
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I find myself somewhat conflicted. Certain acts were fascinating, while others felt like a slight endeavor to complete. Perfectly average.
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Daniel White February 02, 2025
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Mary Lopez
Mary Lopez October 24, 2024
A highly sophisticated read. The protagonist was compelling, though some subplots felt slightly overshadowed. I would highly recommend this to discerning readers.
Charles Jackson
Charles Jackson December 15, 2024
A profoundly satisfying read. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre.
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Elizabeth Hall September 04, 2025
A profoundly satisfying read. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. An effortless 5 stars.
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William Sanchez December 20, 2024
An acceptable diversion. The tempo was somewhat languid, and I found my mind wandering. Not poor, simply average. A fair 3 stars.
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Laura Torres June 13, 2025
It was adequate. It verged on repetitive in the second act. A more concise edit would have served it well. Perhaps more aligned with a different audience's tastes.
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Nicholas Adams August 17, 2024
Took a moment to build, but the payoff was spectacular. It held my rapt attention, even when certain twists were telegraphed. Quite impressive overall.
Laura Thomas
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A profoundly satisfying read. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. An effortless 5 stars.
Daniel Phillips
Daniel Phillips September 02, 2025
I thoroughly enjoyed the elegance of it. The protagonist was compelling, though some subplots felt slightly overshadowed. A wonderful companion for a quiet weekend.
Kevin Lee
Kevin Lee January 25, 2024
A decent, if standard, experience. It possessed moments of brilliance, but the narrative felt slightly disjointed ultimately. Unlikely to reread, but a reasonable expenditure of time.
Emily Wilson
Emily Wilson July 16, 2025
Masterpiece from start to finish. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
Stephanie Clark
Stephanie Clark December 12, 2024
I was completely blown away. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre.
Sandra Anderson
Sandra Anderson September 25, 2024
A highly sophisticated read. A brilliant concept executed with flair. Just a few pacing choices I would change. A very distinguished novel.
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Amanda Diaz June 27, 2025
A profoundly satisfying read. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
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Masterpiece from start to finish. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. A true literary gem.
Michael Harris
Michael Harris August 27, 2024
I was completely blown away. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
Melissa Lopez
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A very strong entry. The protagonist was compelling, though some subplots felt slightly overshadowed. A solid 4 stars from me.
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A profoundly satisfying read. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. A true literary gem.
William Moore
William Moore January 08, 2025
A profoundly satisfying read. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre.
Elizabeth Diaz
Elizabeth Diaz March 24, 2024
Masterpiece from start to finish. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
Carol Lopez
Carol Lopez November 04, 2025
I was completely blown away. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre.
Kevin Diaz
Kevin Diaz September 18, 2024
I thoroughly enjoyed the elegance of it. The protagonist was compelling, though some subplots felt slightly overshadowed. I would highly recommend this to discerning readers.
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I find myself somewhat conflicted. The prose was competent, yet the characters lacked the depth I usually seek. Perfectly average.
Donna Allen
Donna Allen July 28, 2025
Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. Worth every moment spent reading.
Ryan Hill
Ryan Hill October 05, 2024
I was completely blown away. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. An effortless 5 stars.
Mark Brown
Mark Brown August 14, 2025
I was completely blown away. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. An effortless 5 stars.
Margaret Campbell
Margaret Campbell March 15, 2024
Excellent, though slightly flawed. A brilliant concept executed with flair. Just a few pacing choices I would change. A wonderful companion for a quiet weekend.
Sarah Scott
Sarah Scott July 06, 2024
Excellent, though slightly flawed. The protagonist was compelling, though some subplots felt slightly overshadowed. Quite impressive overall.
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A profoundly satisfying read. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre.
James Adams
James Adams December 19, 2025
Absolutely brilliant. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. Worth every moment spent reading.
James Wright
James Wright March 03, 2024
Such a rich narrative. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. A true literary gem.
Jessica Jackson
Jessica Jackson December 18, 2025
I thoroughly enjoyed the elegance of it. A brilliant concept executed with flair. Just a few pacing choices I would change. A wonderful companion for a quiet weekend.
Paul Smith
Paul Smith November 28, 2024
Such a rich narrative. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
Matthew White
Matthew White December 21, 2025
Such a rich narrative. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre.
Cynthia Robinson
Cynthia Robinson February 26, 2025
Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. An effortless 5 stars.
Nancy Torres
Nancy Torres August 28, 2025
Such a rich narrative. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
Dorothy White
Dorothy White January 11, 2025
Masterpiece from start to finish. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. A true literary gem.
Paul  Parker
Paul Parker September 29, 2024
I was completely blown away. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre.
Karen Jones
Karen Jones May 21, 2024
A very strong entry. A brilliant concept executed with flair. Just a few pacing choices I would change. Quite impressive overall.
Eric Thomas
Eric Thomas December 27, 2025
A highly sophisticated read. A brilliant concept executed with flair. Just a few pacing choices I would change. A very distinguished novel.
Andrew Campbell
Andrew Campbell May 15, 2024
A very strong entry. The middle had a deliberate pace, but the climax was phenomenal. Quite impressive overall.
Melissa Carter
Melissa Carter December 16, 2024
Exceeded all my expectations. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. An effortless 5 stars.
Barbara Allen
Barbara Allen July 05, 2025
Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. A true literary gem.
Michael Miller
Michael Miller May 13, 2024
It was adequate. The prose was competent, yet the characters lacked the depth I usually seek. A fair 3 stars.
Patricia Wilson
Patricia Wilson October 05, 2025
Exceeded all my expectations. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. An effortless 5 stars.
Elizabeth Sanchez
Elizabeth Sanchez July 26, 2025
Excellent, though slightly flawed. The protagonist was compelling, though some subplots felt slightly overshadowed. A very distinguished novel.
Daniel Torres
Daniel Torres March 06, 2024
Excellent, though slightly flawed. Beautiful writing, though I craved slightly more depth in the lore. Still, undeniably engaging. A wonderful companion for a quiet weekend.
Cynthia Robinson
Cynthia Robinson July 03, 2024
Excellent, though slightly flawed. The middle had a deliberate pace, but the climax was phenomenal. Quite impressive overall.
Robert Lee
Robert Lee December 12, 2024
Such a rich narrative. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
Jacob Moore
Jacob Moore June 23, 2025
I was completely blown away. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre.
Rebecca Clark
Rebecca Clark January 18, 2025
Excellent, though slightly flawed. Beautiful writing, though I craved slightly more depth in the lore. Still, undeniably engaging. I would highly recommend this to discerning readers.
Rebecca Collins
Rebecca Collins June 25, 2024
Masterpiece from start to finish. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre.
George Taylor
George Taylor August 08, 2025
Masterpiece from start to finish. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. An effortless 5 stars.
Richard Brown
Richard Brown October 03, 2025
A profoundly satisfying read. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
David Reyes
David Reyes March 19, 2025
A profoundly satisfying read. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
William Martin
William Martin April 12, 2025
Such a rich narrative. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. A true literary gem.
Melissa Carter
Melissa Carter August 26, 2025
Took a moment to build, but the payoff was spectacular. Beautiful writing, though I craved slightly more depth in the lore. Still, undeniably engaging. Quite impressive overall.
Laura White
Laura White November 03, 2025
Took a moment to build, but the payoff was spectacular. The middle had a deliberate pace, but the climax was phenomenal. I would highly recommend this to discerning readers.
Deborah Young
Deborah Young July 17, 2025
Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre.
Amanda Williams
Amanda Williams December 19, 2024
Excellent, though slightly flawed. Beautiful writing, though I craved slightly more depth in the lore. Still, undeniably engaging. A very distinguished novel.
Deborah Adams
Deborah Adams March 04, 2025
A profoundly satisfying read. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
Sarah Scott
Sarah Scott March 04, 2024
Took a moment to build, but the payoff was spectacular. Beautiful writing, though I craved slightly more depth in the lore. Still, undeniably engaging. I would highly recommend this to discerning readers.
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