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What Makes Men Emotionally Available: Understanding The Real Reasons Why Men Do And Don’t Want To Open Up And Get Involved

Penned By Andrew Dolan
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What Makes Men Emotionally Available: Understanding The Real Reasons Why Men Do And Don’t Want To Open Up And Get Involved

Penned By Andrew Dolan
4.85 48,510 Ratings
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Editor's Note:
Did you know that men become emotionally available or unavailable for psychologically predictable reasons? The problem that many women face, however, is a lack of knowledge of the conscious and subconscious psychological factors that make men into good or bad bets for committed relationships. Women looking for committed relationships need to understand the specific factors that make men emotionally available and how women can go about finding and getting involved with them. Women should understand how deep-seated psychological influences operate behind the scenes to keep certain types of men immature and emotionally unavailable long after they should have learned how to act their age, and learn whether men who seem to be lost causes can become good bets for committed relationships.This book explains how certain psychological factors, including male peer group pressures and workplace social roles, end up producing psychological and behavioral effects that limit the ability of men to engage in mature relationships with women. Men take on social roles in life, and some social roles are so all-encompassing that they block men from being able to engage in mature relationships with women. For example, a man who is dedicated to being a workaholic chooses to leave no room in his life for relationships that are inconsistent with being a workaholic, and the same applies to a man being dedicated to being a gang member, or some other all-encompassing social role.Emotional availability is a byproduct of being a psychological adult, which requires adult men to learn how to behave in multiple social roles such as employee, neighbor, father, lover and other roles as they mature, including the particular social role that involves men learning the emotionally expressive behavior needed to interact with women in an adult manner. Some men learn, but others resist learning to interact with women in an adult manner.Men who are not psychological adults resist learning how to behave in multiple social roles, including when they interact with women, by limiting themselves to a single immature social role - such as gang member, workaholic, or drinking buddy - on all public and private occasions, including when they interact with women. Choosing to have one-track minds blocks them from learning how to behave in other roles, so their immature roles become the default templates for all parts of their lives, such as a gang member who always acts out his unemotional tough-guy single social role in every area of life. One-role men are bad bets for adult relationships and emotional availability.Male peer groups and workplace social roles contribute to making men emotionally unavailable. The social roles that men take on in male peer groups such as gangs often involve pressuring members to conform to group behavior expectations by keeping relationships with women on the superficial or adolescent level. Another example is the sort of workaholic who keeps his relationships with women on the superficial level by subordinating his relationships to his all-encompassing, round- the-clock social role of workaholic.Immature social roles such as workaholic and gang member expand to fill the unused space in a man's personality where multiple roles such as husband, boyfriend, father, and more should have taken root, but were not allowed to do so. The end result is that an immature social role, such workaholic or gang member, winds up spreading out like a weed to fill all of the vacant space in a man's personality where multiple social roles should have taken root, but failed to do so. Anything that is inconsistent with that immature social role, including the ability to develop mature relationships with women, gets pushed aside.

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Released October 3, 2010
Identifier (ISBN) 19227847
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Andrew Dolan
The Mind Behind the Work
Andrew Dolan

Andrew Dolan writes contemporary fiction and has always been fascinated by character-driven stories. They hold a degree in English Literature and previously worked as an editor before transitioning to writing their own books. Andrew Dolan lives with their spouse and a very vocal rescue cat.

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Laura Reyes
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"A very strong entry. The protagonist was compelling, though some subplots felt slightly overshadowed. A solid 4 stars from me."
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"Excellent, though slightly flawed. It held my rapt attention, even when certain twists were telegraphed. Quite impressive overall."
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William Anderson
William Anderson November 27, 2024
"Such a rich narrative. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. A true literary gem."
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"Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. An effortless 5 stars."
Robert Thompson
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"Masterpiece from start to finish. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece."
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"Masterpiece from start to finish. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. An effortless 5 stars."
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"Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. Worth every moment spent reading."
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"Masterpiece from start to finish. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. Worth every moment spent reading."
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"I was completely blown away. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece."
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"Such a rich narrative. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. I am now a lifelong fan of this author."
Deborah Turner
Deborah Turner March 20, 2024
"A very strong entry. The protagonist was compelling, though some subplots felt slightly overshadowed. A very distinguished novel."
Donald Gonzalez
Donald Gonzalez September 14, 2025
"Exceeded all my expectations. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. A true literary gem."
Kenneth Brown
Kenneth Brown August 09, 2025
"Excellent, though slightly flawed. A brilliant concept executed with flair. Just a few pacing choices I would change. A wonderful companion for a quiet weekend."
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Jacob Perez May 01, 2025
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Joshua Turner
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"A highly sophisticated read. Beautiful writing, though I craved slightly more depth in the lore. Still, undeniably engaging. A very distinguished novel."
Linda Mitchell
Linda Mitchell October 18, 2025
"I thoroughly enjoyed the elegance of it. The protagonist was compelling, though some subplots felt slightly overshadowed. A wonderful companion for a quiet weekend."
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Deborah Lopez
Deborah Lopez August 02, 2024
"Absolutely brilliant. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. Worth every moment spent reading."
Sarah Robinson
Sarah Robinson December 10, 2025
"Absolutely brilliant. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. A true literary gem."
Joshua Gomez
Joshua Gomez October 09, 2025
"I thoroughly enjoyed the elegance of it. Beautiful writing, though I craved slightly more depth in the lore. Still, undeniably engaging. A solid 4 stars from me."
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