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Too Nice for Your Own Good: How to Stop Making 9 Self-Sabotaging Mistakes

Too Nice for Your Own Good : How to Stop Making 9 Self-Sabotaging Mistakes

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Too Nice for Your Own Good: How to Stop Making 9 Self-Sabotaging Mistakes

Too Nice for Your Own Good : How to Stop Making 9 Self-Sabotaging Mistakes

4.85 77,134 ratings · 73,548 reviews
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Overview: أنت شخص لطيف تحاول دائما أن تفعل ما يتوقعه الآخرون, و بينما أنت كذلك, تفعل أي شيء لإرضائهم لا تطلب منهم شيئا لنفسك مطلقا, و تحرص على ألا تؤذي مشاعر الآخرين, وألا تفقد أعصابك, و عندما يهاجمك الآخرون بغير تعقل, تظل متعقلا و هادئا, و دائما ما تكون مستعدا لإسداء النصح للناس, وعندما تحس بالحرج من طريقة احد الأصدقاء معك فأنك لا تفكر أبدا في إحراجه, ولا تتكلم أبدا بما يثير حزنك لدى الآخرون, فأنت إنسان لطيف حقا. تأمل الكاتب في تأثير الشخصية اللطيفة على ذاته, وبادراك جديد بدأ يحدد أكثر سلوكياته الانهزامية: كان عادة يقول نعم للناس حينما ينبغي أن يقول لهم لا, و كان باستمرار يعزل نفسه عن الآخرين بعدم إطلاعهم على ما يريد, و بالتظاهر بالهدوء بينما يكون غاضبا, و بالكذب عندما يخشى إيذاء مشاعرهم, و مرارا و تكرارا كان يثبط من عزمه بتحميل نفسه مسئولية أن يهتم بأمرهم حتى عند عدم المقدرة. أدرك الكاتب أن هذا السلوك (من خلال اجتماعه مع مجموعة من الأصدقاء بوجود طبيب نفسي شهير للتفكير في طريقة أدائهم كأفراد في المهن المساعدة) وهو طريقة المسارعة لإنقاذ الآخرين الذين لديهم مشاكل, هي طريقة مدمرة لنا و لهم. فنحن عندما نقترب من الأشخاص المهمين لنا, و أن نشعر بالرضا عندما نحاول مساعدة الآخرين, إننا نذخر بالنوايا الحسنة, ومع ذلك كلما تحدثنا و تصرفنا بالطرق اللطيفة التي تعلمناها, والتي يتقبلها الجميع تقريبا على أنها طبيعية, ينتابنا شعور بالإرهاق و الإحباط و عدم الثقة في أنفسنا. في هذا الكتاب يشير الكاتب إلى هذه السلوكيات بوصفها أخطاء. فهو يدرس أشياء يفعلها الناس اللطفاء بنية حسنة و بطريقة معتادة لديهم, ولكنها تؤثر بطريقة عكسية على علاقاتهم, وتنتزع البهجة من حياتهم. و تسرق وقتا و طاقة ثمينة. لخص الكاتب هذه السلوكيات في تسعة أخطاء ذات نتائج عكسية, وهي جديرة باهتمامنا لأننا بقليل من التفكير و الجهد نستطيع التوقف عن فعلها. كما أن الكاتب لا يفرق بين وقوع النساء و الرجال في هذه الأخطاء. يدرك الكاتب أن كلا الجنسين يتعامل مع المواقف الاجتماعية بطريقة مختلفة عن الجنس الآخر, ومن منظور مختلف, و أن أحد الجنسين قد يكون ميالا أكثر لفعل أحد هذه الأخطاء, وأن النساء تعاني ضغوطا اجتماعية أكثر من الرجال كي يكن لطيفات, وان معظم الناس يعتقدون ان الرجال لا يملكون صفة اللطف بنفس درجة النساء, ولكن سواء كنت رجلا لطيفا, أو امرأة لطيفة فمن المحتمل انك تكرر الوقوع في هذه الأخطاء التسعة بما يضرونك.

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Pages 266
Published July, 1997
ISBN 110277
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Duke Robinson
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Duke Robinson writes contemporary fiction and has always been fascinated by character-driven stories. They hold a degree in English Literature and previously worked as an editor before transitioning to writing their own books. Duke Robinson lives with their spouse and a very vocal rescue cat.

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Kevin Perez March 10, 2024
Masterpiece from start to finish. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
Mary Scott
Mary Scott January 14, 2024
Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre.
Karen Nguyen
Karen Nguyen April 06, 2024
Exceeded all my expectations. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. Worth every moment spent reading.
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Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. Worth every moment spent reading.
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Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. A true literary gem.
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Masterpiece from start to finish. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. A true literary gem.
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Masterpiece from start to finish. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre.
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Masterpiece from start to finish. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
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Masterpiece from start to finish. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. A true literary gem.
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Exceeded all my expectations. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. An effortless 5 stars.
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Kimberly Perez
Kimberly Perez August 16, 2024
Absolutely brilliant. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. An effortless 5 stars.
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Stephanie Mitchell July 11, 2024
It was adequate. It possessed moments of brilliance, but the narrative felt slightly disjointed ultimately. Perhaps more aligned with a different audience's tastes.
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Masterpiece from start to finish. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
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Masterpiece from start to finish. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
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Exceeded all my expectations. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. A true literary gem.
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Donna White
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Masterpiece from start to finish. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. An effortless 5 stars.
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Masterpiece from start to finish. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre.
Nicholas Campbell
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Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
Joshua Johnson
Joshua Johnson March 31, 2024
Exceeded all my expectations. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
Mary Lopez
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It was adequate. The prose was competent, yet the characters lacked the depth I usually seek. Suitable if your reading queue is empty.
William Brown
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Excellent, though slightly flawed. It held my rapt attention, even when certain twists were telegraphed. A very distinguished novel.
Ryan White
Ryan White June 08, 2025
I thoroughly enjoyed the elegance of it. The protagonist was compelling, though some subplots felt slightly overshadowed. I would highly recommend this to discerning readers.
John Collins
John Collins February 12, 2025
A highly sophisticated read. The middle had a deliberate pace, but the climax was phenomenal. A solid 4 stars from me.
Sharon Wright
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Absolutely brilliant. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. Worth every moment spent reading.
Barbara King
Barbara King May 06, 2025
Took a moment to build, but the payoff was spectacular. Beautiful writing, though I craved slightly more depth in the lore. Still, undeniably engaging. A solid 4 stars from me.
Gary  Davis
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Exceeded all my expectations. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
Susan  Davis
Susan Davis November 05, 2025
It was adequate. It possessed moments of brilliance, but the narrative felt slightly disjointed ultimately. Perfectly average.
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A very strong entry. The protagonist was compelling, though some subplots felt slightly overshadowed. A very distinguished novel.
Richard Cruz
Richard Cruz December 20, 2024
Masterpiece from start to finish. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. A true literary gem.
Matthew Hernandez
Matthew Hernandez November 04, 2025
Exceeded all my expectations. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
Thomas Turner
Thomas Turner July 01, 2024
Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. Worth every moment spent reading.
Jacob Young
Jacob Young April 26, 2024
Exceeded all my expectations. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. Worth every moment spent reading.
Charles Campbell
Charles Campbell February 27, 2024
I was completely blown away. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. Worth every moment spent reading.
John Martinez
John Martinez February 23, 2025
I thoroughly enjoyed the elegance of it. The protagonist was compelling, though some subplots felt slightly overshadowed. Quite impressive overall.
Dorothy Torres
Dorothy Torres August 23, 2025
Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre.
Ryan White
Ryan White June 25, 2025
Masterpiece from start to finish. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. An effortless 5 stars.
Carol Mitchell
Carol Mitchell April 11, 2024
I was completely blown away. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
John Hernandez
John Hernandez June 13, 2024
I was completely blown away. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. A true literary gem.
Dorothy Torres
Dorothy Torres November 19, 2025
Exceeded all my expectations. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre.
Thomas Sanchez
Thomas Sanchez January 18, 2024
Such a rich narrative. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre.
Kevin Perez
Kevin Perez October 28, 2025
I find myself somewhat conflicted. The prose was competent, yet the characters lacked the depth I usually seek. Suitable if your reading queue is empty.
Charles Wright
Charles Wright June 21, 2024
I thoroughly enjoyed the elegance of it. It held my rapt attention, even when certain twists were telegraphed. A solid 4 stars from me.
Richard Walker
Richard Walker September 26, 2024
A profoundly satisfying read. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. An effortless 5 stars.
Nicholas Baker
Nicholas Baker July 23, 2025
Masterpiece from start to finish. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre.
Charles Martinez
Charles Martinez January 22, 2024
Excellent, though slightly flawed. The protagonist was compelling, though some subplots felt slightly overshadowed. A wonderful companion for a quiet weekend.
Ryan Campbell
Ryan Campbell August 15, 2025
Masterpiece from start to finish. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. A true literary gem.
Nancy Jackson
Nancy Jackson January 11, 2024
An acceptable diversion. The tempo was somewhat languid, and I found my mind wandering. Not poor, simply average. Unlikely to reread, but a reasonable expenditure of time.
Anthony Hill
Anthony Hill August 30, 2024
A profoundly satisfying read. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. Worth every moment spent reading.
William Gomez
William Gomez July 20, 2025
Masterpiece from start to finish. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
Susan Miller
Susan Miller July 15, 2025
Masterpiece from start to finish. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. A true literary gem.
James Smith
James Smith August 06, 2024
Absolutely brilliant. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
Melissa Allen
Melissa Allen February 20, 2024
I was completely blown away. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre.
Nancy Sanchez
Nancy Sanchez March 11, 2025
Absolutely brilliant. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre.
Michelle Johnson
Michelle Johnson August 13, 2024
Excellent, though slightly flawed. It held my rapt attention, even when certain twists were telegraphed. I would highly recommend this to discerning readers.
Betty Cruz
Betty Cruz December 10, 2025
I was completely blown away. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. A true literary gem.
Mary Rivera
Mary Rivera June 02, 2025
Absolutely brilliant. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. Worth every moment spent reading.
David Garcia
David Garcia December 23, 2024
I was completely blown away. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. An effortless 5 stars.
Mary Young
Mary Young January 11, 2025
Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre.
Amanda Smith
Amanda Smith December 04, 2025
Absolutely brilliant. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
Jacob Johnson
Jacob Johnson March 04, 2025
A very strong entry. It held my rapt attention, even when certain twists were telegraphed. A wonderful companion for a quiet weekend.
Kevin Lopez
Kevin Lopez November 11, 2024
A very strong entry. It held my rapt attention, even when certain twists were telegraphed. A solid 4 stars from me.
George Edwards
George Edwards December 07, 2025
Masterpiece from start to finish. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
Lisa Gonzalez
Lisa Gonzalez September 01, 2024
Such a rich narrative. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
Sandra Roberts
Sandra Roberts May 03, 2024
It was adequate. It verged on repetitive in the second act. A more concise edit would have served it well. A fair 3 stars.
Rebecca  Davis
Rebecca Davis May 15, 2024
Masterpiece from start to finish. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. Worth every moment spent reading.
Laura Thomas
Laura Thomas December 02, 2025
Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. A true literary gem.
Charles Rivera
Charles Rivera February 28, 2024
Such a rich narrative. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre.
Patricia Martinez
Patricia Martinez January 20, 2025
I thoroughly enjoyed the elegance of it. It held my rapt attention, even when certain twists were telegraphed. I would highly recommend this to discerning readers.
John Jackson
John Jackson May 26, 2024
Absolutely brilliant. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. A true literary gem.
Andrew Lee
Andrew Lee March 14, 2024
Took a moment to build, but the payoff was spectacular. It held my rapt attention, even when certain twists were telegraphed. A wonderful companion for a quiet weekend.
Charles Diaz
Charles Diaz April 03, 2025
Such a rich narrative. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
Nancy Ramirez
Nancy Ramirez September 01, 2025
A very strong entry. A brilliant concept executed with flair. Just a few pacing choices I would change. A solid 4 stars from me.
Kevin Brown
Kevin Brown March 08, 2025
Exceeded all my expectations. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre.
Andrew Nelson
Andrew Nelson November 25, 2025
It was adequate. It possessed moments of brilliance, but the narrative felt slightly disjointed ultimately. Perfectly average.
Andrew Anderson
Andrew Anderson December 14, 2024
Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
Richard Cruz
Richard Cruz March 20, 2025
Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. A true literary gem.
Cynthia Young
Cynthia Young March 15, 2024
I was completely blown away. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
Thomas Turner
Thomas Turner September 28, 2025
A highly sophisticated read. It held my rapt attention, even when certain twists were telegraphed. Quite impressive overall.
Michael Perez
Michael Perez March 13, 2024
I was completely blown away. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. Worth every moment spent reading.
Nicholas Nguyen
Nicholas Nguyen July 20, 2025
A very strong entry. The middle had a deliberate pace, but the climax was phenomenal. A solid 4 stars from me.
Elizabeth White
Elizabeth White October 22, 2024
I thoroughly enjoyed the elegance of it. Beautiful writing, though I craved slightly more depth in the lore. Still, undeniably engaging. A very distinguished novel.
Thomas Hall
Thomas Hall March 14, 2024
I find myself somewhat conflicted. The tempo was somewhat languid, and I found my mind wandering. Not poor, simply average. Unlikely to reread, but a reasonable expenditure of time.
Matthew Hernandez
Matthew Hernandez November 28, 2025
Masterpiece from start to finish. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre.
Sandra Rivera
Sandra Rivera September 12, 2025
I was completely blown away. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. Worth every moment spent reading.
George Adams
George Adams December 29, 2024
Such a rich narrative. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. A true literary gem.
Patricia Lopez
Patricia Lopez May 23, 2025
Such a rich narrative. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. Worth every moment spent reading.
Nicholas Wright
Nicholas Wright June 26, 2025
Took a moment to build, but the payoff was spectacular. The middle had a deliberate pace, but the climax was phenomenal. I would highly recommend this to discerning readers.
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