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Shit My Dad (Never) Says

Sh*t My Dad (Never) Says

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4.85
85,718 ratings · 2,703 reviews
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Shit My Dad (Never) Says

Sh*t My Dad (Never) Says

4.85 85,718 ratings · 2,703 reviews
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Overview: Let’s admit it. Most dads say a lot of sh*t. But unfortunately, what they say is usually not even worth writing down. That’s because they have about as much wit as a sack of flour.Justin Halpern’s dad is the rare exception. His dad’s sh*t is funny because it is just so stupid and ridiculous. This book is both a parody and a tribute to the book Sh*t My Dad Says. This book is a carefully selected collection of things that dads most definitely would never say, just because these sayings are actually clever, witty and smart. To that end, the wit of Oscar Wilde is indeed truly incomparable, and we have included such gems as“Nowadays people know the price of everything and the value of nothing,” or“Experience is merely the name men give to their mistakes,” or“Anyone can sympathise with the sufferings of a friend, but it requires a very fine nature to sympathise with a friend's success.”Compared to the typical sh*t that most dads would say, this book is actually pretty good reading!

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Book details & editions

ISBN
10388751
Publication date
November 15, 2011
Pages
N/A pages
Reading Options
PDF · EPUB · Mobi
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About the Author
Oscar Wilde
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Oscar Wilde writes contemporary fiction and has always been fascinated by character-driven stories. They hold a degree in English Literature and previously worked as an editor before transitioning to writing their own books. Oscar Wilde lives with their spouse and a very vocal rescue cat.

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Sandra Nelson
Sandra Nelson February 04, 2025
Absolutely brilliant. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre.
Lisa Phillips
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Masterpiece from start to finish. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. Worth every moment spent reading.
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Donna Baker June 30, 2024
Not entirely to my refined tastes. The tempo was somewhat languid, and I found my mind wandering. Not poor, simply average. Perfectly average.
Sarah Rivera
Sarah Rivera December 16, 2024
Masterpiece from start to finish. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre.
Melissa Harris
Melissa Harris May 27, 2025
Such a rich narrative. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. Worth every moment spent reading.
Betty  Davis
Betty Davis December 23, 2024
A profoundly satisfying read. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. A true literary gem.
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Karen Mitchell September 03, 2025
I thoroughly enjoyed the elegance of it. Beautiful writing, though I craved slightly more depth in the lore. Still, undeniably engaging. I would highly recommend this to discerning readers.
Matthew Phillips
Matthew Phillips October 17, 2024
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Paul Walker January 12, 2025
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Such a rich narrative. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
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Charles Collins May 20, 2025
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A very strong entry. Beautiful writing, though I craved slightly more depth in the lore. Still, undeniably engaging. A wonderful companion for a quiet weekend.
Sarah Brown
Sarah Brown August 17, 2025
Masterpiece from start to finish. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre.
Thomas Smith
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Exceeded all my expectations. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
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Lisa Gonzalez July 28, 2024
Absolutely brilliant. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. An effortless 5 stars.
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Masterpiece from start to finish. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. Worth every moment spent reading.
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Exceeded all my expectations. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. An effortless 5 stars.
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Such a rich narrative. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. A true literary gem.
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I was completely blown away. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. A true literary gem.
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A profoundly satisfying read. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. An effortless 5 stars.
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I thoroughly enjoyed the elegance of it. A brilliant concept executed with flair. Just a few pacing choices I would change. I would highly recommend this to discerning readers.
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Absolutely brilliant. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
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Exceeded all my expectations. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre.
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Such a rich narrative. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. An effortless 5 stars.
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Masterpiece from start to finish. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
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Melissa Reyes August 29, 2024
Such a rich narrative. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. An effortless 5 stars.
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Absolutely brilliant. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
Linda Lewis
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Masterpiece from start to finish. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
Emily Roberts
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Such a rich narrative. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. Worth every moment spent reading.
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A highly sophisticated read. It held my rapt attention, even when certain twists were telegraphed. I would highly recommend this to discerning readers.
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Jessica Mitchell April 09, 2025
Masterpiece from start to finish. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
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Exceeded all my expectations. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
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A profoundly satisfying read. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. A true literary gem.
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Anthony Hernandez
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A profoundly satisfying read. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. A true literary gem.
Nancy Hill
Nancy Hill April 30, 2024
Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
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Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
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A highly sophisticated read. It held my rapt attention, even when certain twists were telegraphed. A very distinguished novel.
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Such a rich narrative. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. Worth every moment spent reading.
Jacob Turner
Jacob Turner January 27, 2024
Excellent, though slightly flawed. The protagonist was compelling, though some subplots felt slightly overshadowed. A solid 4 stars from me.
Sandra Hall
Sandra Hall November 11, 2025
Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
John Hernandez
John Hernandez April 21, 2025
A highly sophisticated read. A brilliant concept executed with flair. Just a few pacing choices I would change. I would highly recommend this to discerning readers.
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Margaret Rodriguez April 28, 2025
A highly sophisticated read. Beautiful writing, though I craved slightly more depth in the lore. Still, undeniably engaging. A wonderful companion for a quiet weekend.
Jessica Rodriguez
Jessica Rodriguez December 13, 2024
Absolutely brilliant. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
Thomas Harris
Thomas Harris April 28, 2025
Not entirely to my refined tastes. Certain acts were fascinating, while others felt like a slight endeavor to complete. Suitable if your reading queue is empty.
John Allen
John Allen February 19, 2025
Not entirely to my refined tastes. Certain acts were fascinating, while others felt like a slight endeavor to complete. Perhaps more aligned with a different audience's tastes.
Steven Green
Steven Green November 04, 2025
Exceeded all my expectations. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre.
John Anderson
John Anderson May 10, 2024
Exceeded all my expectations. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. An effortless 5 stars.
Steven Thompson
Steven Thompson September 19, 2025
A highly sophisticated read. Beautiful writing, though I craved slightly more depth in the lore. Still, undeniably engaging. A solid 4 stars from me.
Jessica Baker
Jessica Baker August 31, 2024
A profoundly satisfying read. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre.
Jacob Turner
Jacob Turner December 09, 2025
A very strong entry. It held my rapt attention, even when certain twists were telegraphed. A solid 4 stars from me.
Carol Perez
Carol Perez March 11, 2024
Absolutely brilliant. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. An effortless 5 stars.
Amanda Jones
Amanda Jones September 12, 2025
I was completely blown away. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. A true literary gem.
Eric Ramirez
Eric Ramirez August 11, 2024
I find myself somewhat conflicted. The tempo was somewhat languid, and I found my mind wandering. Not poor, simply average. A fair 3 stars.
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Patricia Lee March 21, 2025
Absolutely brilliant. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. A true literary gem.
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Daniel Rodriguez July 22, 2024
I was completely blown away. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
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Laura Nelson November 09, 2025
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Richard Roberts
Richard Roberts November 08, 2025
A highly sophisticated read. The middle had a deliberate pace, but the climax was phenomenal. A solid 4 stars from me.
Dorothy Reyes
Dorothy Reyes February 09, 2025
Absolutely brilliant. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. An effortless 5 stars.
Kimberly Harris
Kimberly Harris March 02, 2024
Exceeded all my expectations. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. Worth every moment spent reading.
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Kenneth Smith May 25, 2025
Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre.
Emily Roberts
Emily Roberts February 21, 2024
Absolutely brilliant. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. Worth every moment spent reading.
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Jennifer Evans March 25, 2025
Masterpiece from start to finish. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. Worth every moment spent reading.
Steven Gonzalez
Steven Gonzalez March 14, 2025
I was completely blown away. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. A true literary gem.
Sandra Nelson
Sandra Nelson February 23, 2024
A very strong entry. The protagonist was compelling, though some subplots felt slightly overshadowed. I would highly recommend this to discerning readers.
Emily Thomas
Emily Thomas August 15, 2025
Such a rich narrative. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
Steven Martinez
Steven Martinez March 22, 2024
Such a rich narrative. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
Cynthia Martin
Cynthia Martin August 17, 2025
I find myself somewhat conflicted. It verged on repetitive in the second act. A more concise edit would have served it well. Unlikely to reread, but a reasonable expenditure of time.
Jacob Turner
Jacob Turner February 25, 2024
Took a moment to build, but the payoff was spectacular. The protagonist was compelling, though some subplots felt slightly overshadowed. I would highly recommend this to discerning readers.
Brian Walker
Brian Walker December 25, 2024
A very strong entry. It held my rapt attention, even when certain twists were telegraphed. Quite impressive overall.
Cynthia Johnson
Cynthia Johnson November 27, 2025
Such a rich narrative. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. An effortless 5 stars.
Sarah Rivera
Sarah Rivera April 29, 2024
An acceptable diversion. The prose was competent, yet the characters lacked the depth I usually seek. Perhaps more aligned with a different audience's tastes.
Steven Hill
Steven Hill June 04, 2025
Not entirely to my refined tastes. The prose was competent, yet the characters lacked the depth I usually seek. Perhaps more aligned with a different audience's tastes.
Deborah Reyes
Deborah Reyes February 02, 2024
A profoundly satisfying read. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. An effortless 5 stars.
Ryan Wright
Ryan Wright October 14, 2024
Masterpiece from start to finish. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. An effortless 5 stars.
Amanda Wilson
Amanda Wilson August 19, 2024
A very strong entry. A brilliant concept executed with flair. Just a few pacing choices I would change. A solid 4 stars from me.
Nicholas Harris
Nicholas Harris July 09, 2024
Excellent, though slightly flawed. It held my rapt attention, even when certain twists were telegraphed. A wonderful companion for a quiet weekend.
Laura Taylor
Laura Taylor May 31, 2024
Took a moment to build, but the payoff was spectacular. A brilliant concept executed with flair. Just a few pacing choices I would change. A wonderful companion for a quiet weekend.
Betty Jones
Betty Jones December 19, 2024
Took a moment to build, but the payoff was spectacular. The protagonist was compelling, though some subplots felt slightly overshadowed. A wonderful companion for a quiet weekend.
Dorothy Hall
Dorothy Hall December 22, 2024
Masterpiece from start to finish. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. Worth every moment spent reading.
George Brown
George Brown March 30, 2024
A very strong entry. It held my rapt attention, even when certain twists were telegraphed. A solid 4 stars from me.
Ryan Johnson
Ryan Johnson April 15, 2025
Took a moment to build, but the payoff was spectacular. Beautiful writing, though I craved slightly more depth in the lore. Still, undeniably engaging. I would highly recommend this to discerning readers.
Carol Collins
Carol Collins April 30, 2025
Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
Ryan Johnson
Ryan Johnson March 04, 2025
A highly sophisticated read. Beautiful writing, though I craved slightly more depth in the lore. Still, undeniably engaging. Quite impressive overall.
Mary Robinson
Mary Robinson August 28, 2024
Absolutely brilliant. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. Worth every moment spent reading.
Amanda Edwards
Amanda Edwards February 18, 2025
Took a moment to build, but the payoff was spectacular. A brilliant concept executed with flair. Just a few pacing choices I would change. I would highly recommend this to discerning readers.
Nancy Hill
Nancy Hill August 14, 2025
It was adequate. The tempo was somewhat languid, and I found my mind wandering. Not poor, simply average. Suitable if your reading queue is empty.
Sandra Evans
Sandra Evans June 13, 2025
A very strong entry. It held my rapt attention, even when certain twists were telegraphed. A wonderful companion for a quiet weekend.
Patricia Jackson
Patricia Jackson November 10, 2025
I thoroughly enjoyed the elegance of it. It held my rapt attention, even when certain twists were telegraphed. I would highly recommend this to discerning readers.
Donald Carter
Donald Carter July 24, 2024
Absolutely brilliant. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. A true literary gem.
Rebecca Thomas
Rebecca Thomas May 07, 2024
Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. A true literary gem.
David Gonzalez
David Gonzalez March 03, 2025
Masterpiece from start to finish. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
Kimberly White
Kimberly White January 28, 2024
Absolutely brilliant. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. Worth every moment spent reading.
Linda Brown
Linda Brown October 28, 2024
An acceptable diversion. The prose was competent, yet the characters lacked the depth I usually seek. Unlikely to reread, but a reasonable expenditure of time.
George Turner
George Turner November 17, 2024
A decent, if standard, experience. It possessed moments of brilliance, but the narrative felt slightly disjointed ultimately. Perhaps more aligned with a different audience's tastes.
Anthony Hernandez
Anthony Hernandez November 03, 2024
Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. An effortless 5 stars.
Jessica Reyes
Jessica Reyes May 15, 2025
I was completely blown away. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. Worth every moment spent reading.
Joseph Nguyen
Joseph Nguyen January 22, 2024
Absolutely brilliant. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. Worth every moment spent reading.
Joshua Garcia
Joshua Garcia April 07, 2024
Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. An effortless 5 stars.
Joshua Hall
Joshua Hall March 09, 2024
Excellent, though slightly flawed. It held my rapt attention, even when certain twists were telegraphed. A solid 4 stars from me.
Matthew Turner
Matthew Turner March 29, 2025
A decent, if standard, experience. The tempo was somewhat languid, and I found my mind wandering. Not poor, simply average. Unlikely to reread, but a reasonable expenditure of time.
Jessica Reyes
Jessica Reyes May 08, 2025
Not entirely to my refined tastes. It possessed moments of brilliance, but the narrative felt slightly disjointed ultimately. Suitable if your reading queue is empty.
Kenneth Lee
Kenneth Lee December 06, 2025
It was adequate. It possessed moments of brilliance, but the narrative felt slightly disjointed ultimately. Perfectly average.
Edward Williams
Edward Williams July 26, 2024
Absolutely brilliant. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. An effortless 5 stars.
Nancy Hill
Nancy Hill July 24, 2025
Excellent, though slightly flawed. A brilliant concept executed with flair. Just a few pacing choices I would change. I would highly recommend this to discerning readers.
Joshua Gomez
Joshua Gomez January 09, 2024
Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
Gary Jones
Gary Jones February 02, 2024
Excellent, though slightly flawed. The middle had a deliberate pace, but the climax was phenomenal. I would highly recommend this to discerning readers.
Barbara Hernandez
Barbara Hernandez May 16, 2025
Such a rich narrative. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre.
Susan King
Susan King November 23, 2025
Took a moment to build, but the payoff was spectacular. A brilliant concept executed with flair. Just a few pacing choices I would change. Quite impressive overall.
Andrew Turner
Andrew Turner January 11, 2025
Masterpiece from start to finish. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. An effortless 5 stars.
George Roberts
George Roberts January 09, 2024
Excellent, though slightly flawed. The protagonist was compelling, though some subplots felt slightly overshadowed. A solid 4 stars from me.
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